Forget “forever young”, a new generation of women are embracing their age and all of the wisdom it brings. For decades, society – with help of beauty advertisers – has whispered that women ought do everything in their power to turn back the clock. From beauty products to surgery to references to “bravery” when celebrities dare display grey hair or wrinkles, the subtle message that youth reigns supreme has been undeniable. But with Hollywood royalty like Sarah-Jessica Parker, 58, and Susan Sarandon, 77, talking loudly about age positivity, women all over the world are starting to question the ageing fear mongering that has gone virtually unchallenged for decades. “We spend so much time talking about the accumulation of time [by] adding up in wrinkles … it’s the weirdest thing that we don’t say, ‘It adds up to being better at your job; better as a friend; better as a daughter; better as a partner; better as a caregiver; better as a sister,’” says Parker, who most of us know as Carrie on iconic series Sex And The City. “Instead it’s, ‘How do we suspend the exterior? How do we apologise for it? How do we fix it?’” So entrenched is many women’s fear of visible ageing that research shows 90 percent of women feel anxious about ageing, and that we worry more about our ageing appearance than about having enough money for retirement. “You're very lucky to age. If [you aren't], you're dead! Ageing is a good thing. I think it means staying healthy,” says Susan Sarandon. “I think there's something about not giving up and becoming invisible, which is what our society has a tendency to do. I hear women [of a certain age] talking about becoming invisible. My interpretation of anti-ageing means anti-becoming invisible.” Meanwhile, Family Ties actress Justine Bateman’s new book, Face: One Square Foot of Skin, interviews 47 women about ageing and the pressure to continue to look young as they age. “Why do we even have these ideas in society that a woman's face is broken and needs to be fixed?" she says on Fox News. “The idea that it's almost a woman's duty or responsibility to start cutting it up and injecting it after a certain age or doing it preventatively… I wish people would see it's just a marketing tool. They put the fear in them that if you don't do it, all these bad things will happen to you, which is just so silly and ridiculous." Closer to home, Australian women aged over 50 are increasingly presenting popular morning and lifestyle shows on free-to-air TV, demonstrating a shift from the outdated “boys club” of TV to a world that celebrates the wisdom mature women can bring. “I’m at a stage in my life where I feel quite comfortable in my own skin,” says Kylie Gillies, co-host of Channel Seven’s The Morning Show. “For every extra line or crow’s foot … guess what? It comes with a bonus offer … of extra knowledge, empathy, wisdom.” The good news is, that if we can all sign up to the “positive ageing” movement, psychologists say we’ll experience physical and mental health improvements, through an increased sense of control and better quality of life as you face another part of the life cycle. So how can we better embrace our bodies and minds to remove the pressure to visibly wind back the clock, and simply make the most of our mature years? Sarah Jessica Parker calls for us to focus on optimism and the joy of living over a fear of ageing. “Optimism is almost like a vitamin, or some type of battery, or something I use when I need to resurface,” she tells Gritty Pretty. “When things are difficult or complicated, it gives me the resilience I need. And in the good times, it pushes me to be creative, outrageous, and truly enjoy the time I get to spend just living.” And that’s not to say we have to bin all our beauty products either – we simply ought consider using them to highlight our present features, not to try recreate the past. "Beauty products should enhance who you are, rather than making you into someone you don’t feel comfortable with,” Susan Sarandon adds. “You find your own style. Don’t try to be someone else, not everything works,"

How to capitalise on the post-COVID world, with NannyGranny’s resident psychologist. For many, the COVID years may have been synonymous with stress, but if you can take some time to reflect and revaluate, you might craft an even better life than pre-pandemic. As challenging as many of us found the last few years living through a pandemic, psychologists say that in some ways, it actually created the perfect conditions for reflection and re-evaluation of what we want our lives to look like. “Big traumatic events like COVID often present the opportunity and conditions needed for growth and change,” says NannyGranny co-founder Warren Kilburn, a Melbourne psychologist who has spent the past few years on the “mental health frontline” of the pandemic. "As we start to settle into this ‘post-COVID’ era, if we haven’t already, we now have the opportunity to create the time and space for reflection. We have the benefit of some distance and perspective, which enables us to see things more clearly and consider how we can choose to move forward, perhaps differently, to improve our lives.” That was certainly the case for Rachel Broughton, who quit her once-loved secondary school teaching job to launch a business, Baby and Mumma Gifts. “After working from home through all of Victoria’s lockdowns, I had a little taste of what it might be like working from home under different circumstances,” she says. “Upon returning to the classroom, I realised I didn’t want this life anymore, I wanted freedom and flexibility that I just couldn’t get. So I quit my job, started my own business and started working around my children and their schedules.” Similarly, Gippsland photographer Belle Chapman found a new calling during COVID lockdowns – photographing people who have been diagnosed with cancer before they start treatment. “I run a family photography business and when COVID hit, I had to close my business due to lockdowns. I had extra time on my hands and needed something to keep my mind occupied, so I set up my charity where I provide free family photography to families facing a cancer diagnosis,” she says. Now that lockdowns are hopefully behind us, Chapman is more motivated than ever to continue her charity side-hustle. “I learnt how quickly something like cancer can change your life and it’s made me more determined to build my business big so I can help more people,” she says. Warren says that for a lot of people like Rachel and Belle, there’s a sense of newfound optimism. “People are saying, ‘I’m excited about the future – I’ve been locked up and now I’m out to build something or get some more joy or purpose,” he says. But for all of the people charging into 2023 ready to start fresh, Warren says there’s an equal number who are still reeling from the past few years and struggling to adjust to the new normal, whether that’s due to mental health challenges, financial stress or relationship fallout. “Many people are still experiencing the impacts of COVID and may be struggling to effectively transition from ‘pandemic mode’ to ‘post-pandemic mode’,” Warren says. “Protracted traumatic experiences run the risk of creating long-term behavioural change because the person experiencing the ‘trauma’ stays in a high-adrenalin ‘survival’ mode for extended periods, resulting in reinforced habits, which can be challenging to undo.” A time for reflection Whether you’re feeling pumped or fearful about the future, Warren says we’d all benefit from taking time to consider what we want more of in our lives, and what we need less of. He suggests we all grab a pen and paper and ponder: What did I learn? What did I find hardest? What was surprising? What did I do to survive that I no longer need to do? What will I leave behind? What will I take forward to create something new, for myself, my family or my community? Can you take any meaningful insights to set some new goals? “Consider where you want to be or what you might strive towards,” Warren suggests. “Most of our sense of fulfillment comes from the pursuit of meaningful goals and betterment. That sense of striving gives us lots of feel good brain chemicals.” For Rachel, she’s discovered that taking risks can be “amazing”. “Don’t shy away from taking risks,” she says. “The biggest take-away from [these years] is that we should not settle. We should not stay in a job we find stressful or unfulfilling. There are opportunities everywhere and if you are hungry to try something new, just try it!”